Aesop's Fable

     Tora was a cow. This was before cow's were cows and people were people. Nika was the animal shaper, and had been busily working away at the squirrel when he ran out of ideas, so looking around he spotted a beaver, and liking his own work on the tail, decided to give the squirrel a fuzzy version. / Nika was about to commence the creation when he was knocked over by one of his more pitiful creations, the poodle-grizzly, a monstrous pink bear with its arms and legs shaved. Losing his concentration, Nika mumbled angrily to the poodle-grizzly and turned to the fuzzy beaver thingy - the squirrel. He endowed it with a voracious appetite. / However, as he finished the fuzzy version, he decided that his flat tail will never work. How do I fix it so it will be able to climb trees? Nika decided--maybe I should give it a cast's tail since cats are so good at climbing and never seem to fall. / Nika knew that a beaver with a cat's tail might seem only like a fat lumpy weasel, but he thought it was worth a try. Although it might curtail his (the cat-beaver's) swimming capability, cat-beavers / might become the fashionable pet among the upper classes (you never know), but some sort of intuition told Nika otherwise. Perhaps the thing needed a fin or two, or an extra nostril. Poor Nika just couldn't decide what to do. / So, packing up his few belongings, Nika set off to find a wise man who could tell him how to improve the cat. First, he met Dan Quayle. "How can I improve the cat?" he asked.
     "Add an 'E'," said Dan, "C-A-T-E."
     But Nika went on.
     Next, he asked Jim Carrey. "How can I improve the cat?" asked Nika.
     "Just make it fart a lot," said Jim.
     But / Nika did not think the cat should talk with its butt, so he went on. Eventually, he met Bast, a goddess who was temporarily out of a job. "Oh Bast," said Nika, "if you can tell me how to improve the cat, you shall be its goddess. What do you say?"
     "Purr," said Bast. /
     "Is that it?"
     "Yeah, all I say is 'Purr'," lied Bast.
     Nika was pretty dumb, but not that dumb, so he played along for a little while. "Oh, so if I heard that you said I was the most handsome creature ever, it was a lie, right?"
     Bast almost choked, "Of course. Not only are you putrid, but all I can say is 'Purr'."
     Infuriated, Nika actually gave the cat a voice, by giving him Bast's tongue. Thus, cats purr, and the phrase 'Cat's got your tongue' was originated.